HatredForever inyourarms
by Rowan Arkenson
Summary: A blur of him and her. One loves the other, one detests their love. But neither can deny the true meaning of “soul mate”. A blur of love and hate, and a blur of who is who, as this painful and beautiful story unfolds. abandoned
1. HatredForever inyourarms

**Title: **HatredForever-(inyourarms)

**Author: **Rowan Arkenson

**Summary: **A blur of him and her. One loves the other, one detests their love. But neither can deny the true meaning of "soul mate". A blur of love and hate, and a blur of who is who, as this painful and beautiful story unfolds.

**Rating: **Making it PG-13 for now 'cause no idea what's coming up in this story. Rating may be lowered to PG, or may be put up to R. We'll see what happens. But I can promise you there'll be "mild language and some adult themes"- as always :D

**Disclaimer: **ooh nearly forgot I had to do this. Haven't had to for ages. Grr. Damn writer's block. Anyway, yeah, JK rules, long live JK Rowling for giving us such splendid characters to fuck around with.

**E-mail: **hey, you never know, some of the intelligent ones may want to get in contact with me so they can sign me up for taking over JK Rowling's post :D :

                **E-mail: draco_veritas@blueyonder.co.uk **

                **MSN: hella_good317@hotmail.com**

                **AOL: roundforeverdead@aol.com******

**                Yahoo: **I do have a yahoo address, it just, like, doesn't work. O_O  gimme time, people.****

**A/N: **Hey, welcome to my story. Everyone may be a bit out of character in my story, but hey, sticking to rules isn't any fun. Oh, and before you read this, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I'M THE SHITEST WRITER I KNOW GO READ SOME BETTER STUFF. Look in my favourite stories and authors listies for some highly depressing and in funfun cases amusing stories.

…hey, you're still here?

Freaks…

Ok fine if you really do insist on reading this crap, then continue. But I feel it is my duty to warn you how rare it is that I do actually finish a story, lol. Ah well. I'll do my best. Continue. And review you lazy bums! I NEED CRITICISMS HERE DUDES!! … Love you all merrily. xx****

(ps, if no italics or boldnessesseses show up on here, please tell me? Quite important in this prologue. You'll see why. Or, you may not, in which case tell me IN YOUR REVIEW *wink*.)

~rowanx

**HatredForever****-(inyourarms)**

You blew to me like a petal from a flower…

_You found me like a knife to the heart…_

…on a soft breeze. You blew through the winds…

_…piercing my uninterrupted soul…_

…and saved me. My soul's saviour.

_…you interrupted it. My heart's destruction._

Kept me warm through the winters –

_– kept me up through the nights._

Took away my shivers…

_...banished all my rites.___

You _were me_

_I_ was _you_

_You_ saved _destroyed_ _the end of me_

I _hate_ love **YOU**

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**(REVIEW!!**** Does anyone know how I can get it to show up so some stuff is centred and some is right-aligned and stuff? I already save it as a webpage to show the bold/italic stuff, but it only comes up left-aligned. Help would be greatly appreciated. ~rowanx)**


	2. 01 Think of Me?

**1**

**Think of Me?**

I remember the first time we met. Locked eyes. Brushed hands. You were walking past my desk, and you knocked off my books with that strong arm of yours. Whether it was an accident or not I guess I'll never know. You knelt down quickly, and looked up to apologise. I looked into your eyes, covered by that messy boyish hair, and it was then I knew…

_At the time she had seemed to think I'd knocked her books off on purpose or something. I looked at her and she was staring at me really weirdly, so I stood up and asked if she was ok. She said something about how it had been the books I'd knocked off, not her, and then she laughed, as if it had been a joke. I smiled weakly, and moved off to my desk. Crazy girl._

Then you smiled at me. I guess at the age of eleven I couldn't have known for sure that you were the one for me. That's ridiculous isn't it? But I'm older now. I know what true love is, I feel it, deep inside of me. Like some flower in the breeze, swaying past my heart, tickling it with your soft touch…

_What is it you're always writing in that girlie book of yours? The pink one with the flowers on the front? Do you have any idea how much it annoys me? Whenever we're in class, and the professor's going on about one thing or another, I can always hear you scratching away, an occasional sigh here and there, then I turn to look at you and you look at me. You always go all giggly and blush and then go back down to your stupid little notebook, more keen than ever to annoy the hell out of me, it seems…_

You know about my diary, don't you? I'm writing it for you, my love. It's where I keep my poetry about our love. It's where I keep a record of every precious moment we've spoken. I know you've seen it. You're always staring at me in class, and I look at you, and I know you're wondering what I'm writing in it. But be patient my love. When my sixteenth birthday comes, you'll know, and we'll be able to share everything… Won't that be wonderful?

_No. On second thoughts I don't **want to know what's in that book. I bet it's just your diary. I hate it when girls keep diaries. Whenever we're in the common room, and there's a book on the table, if I just go to curiously and harmlessly pick it up, just to see, there's always a girl around to slap me on the wrist. "It's rude to read people's diaries." Well how was I supposed to know it was your flipping diary? If girls don't want me to read their diaries, why don't they just write "DIARY – KEEP OUT" on the front? *Sigh* I'll never understand girls.**_

You're already sixteen aren't you? I remember from that party your friends threw you. It was such a shame I couldn't come, I know you'll have wanted me there, even though we never get to talk. But my friend was in a crisis, and I had to go to the library to research with her. Well anyway, it's so obvious you're sixteen; you're so manly, and your hair is so long and makes you look so roguishly handsome. And you're always around girls; it's no wonder you're so popular from how you look. Though I've heard you've never had a girlfriend – just waiting for me? Oh love I know it's hard to be apart and I wish I could tell you why we cannot be together, but… Just be brave. My father said as soon as I'm sixteen I'll be allowed to date, and I'll come straight to you…

_She doesn't ever seem to have a boyfriend hanging around. It's not that no one wants to go out with her: Remus goes on about her half the time, and so do quite a few people for that matter. But she seems to keep to herself quite a lot. And I've heard her father has forbid her from going out with anyone until she's 16. I guess she hates him for it. Nah – she's too innocent. And that annoys me like hell. She's so girlie and prissy, locked in her shell of pretty…prissy things. She should be so lucky she has a mother and a father who bothered to stick around for her. Wherever the hell my parents are, I bet they couldn't care less who I went out with. A fucking Slytherin, whatever. If they cared they would still be here._

Oh I love you so much. And I know you feel the same. **Nothing could come between us, we've shared too much together in the past five years. My darling… Are you thinking of me?**

_Anyway, like I care about her stupid girlie ways. … Christ, why am I thinking about my parents? I can't help it, even after all this time. I wonder where they are now... Do they **ever think about me?**_


	3. 02 On the Outside

A/N: Sorry this chapter is in bold, but it kinda had to be. Oh, and in case you haven't figured it out yet, italics are James and non-italics are Lily. Whenever it's bold as well, it means it isn't deep inside their mind. Just on their side of things. If that makes sense… yeah. And thanks to the people who are giving me credit for this story. I know it isn't the usual run of things, I know it's all so out of character and doesn't relate to what book 5 said about the marauders and everyone, and I know it's a little weird and that Lily was damn annoying in the last chapter, but – I'm just trying out something new, ok? So bear with me! And please, keep reviewing. Cheers. ~rowanx

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**2 **

**On The Outside**

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**_"Hey, Jamesie!_****_ Get over here now!"_**

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**_James looked up and smiled faintly. "What now?" he muttered, standing up and walking over to where Sirius sat, looking eagerly at the chess board._**

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**_"I think I've found a move I can make!" Sirius said, sounding like an excited little puppy. James smiled as Sirius made hand gestures to where he could move his knight. After a few seconds of contemplation, James shook his head and pointed to the white castle. Sirius stared at it for a while and then made a few grunting noises and stood up, stomping away._**

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**_James laughed quietly to himself. _****Right, well that's Sirius in a bad mood for the rest of the day,_ he thought. The chess game between Sirius and Remus had started three months ago. Remus was better than Sirius, everyone knew that, but it seemed Sirius wasn't going to let this was go without a very long fight._**

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**_"Ready, James?" Remus came up and clapped his mate on the back._**

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**_"Hey, wait for me," muttered Sirius, walking down the stairs with his wand in his hand._**

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**_James sighed. "Must you bring that? It just makes me feel nervous."_**

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**_"Look, Sirius, nothing is going to happen, right?" Remus said, giving Sirius a very deep and meaningful look that James wished he hadn't seen._**

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**_Sirius nodded but pocketed his wand anyway. With Sirius marching in front of him and Remus steering him to the portrait hole, James took in a deep breath and walked to his doom._**

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**Lily turned the page of her book. She could hear Anna chewing loudly on her gum, and she wondered if she was ever going to stop. Slamming her book shut, she gave up and said, "Ok, what is it?"**

**"What?" Anna said innocently, looking up from her homework.**

**"What's wrong?" asked Lily. "Whenever there's something on your mind, you always chew really loudly on your gum, and it's annoying me now, so tell me, what's wrong?"**

**Anna looked shifty. "Nothing…"**

**Lily edged forward. "Anna, tell me. I'm your best friend. I won't laugh or anything, I promise."**

**"Oh you definitely won't laugh…"**

**Lily raised an eyebrow. "So tell me."**

**"I can't." Anna looked extremely uncomfortable and Lily started to feel genuinely worried. Anna usually told her everything. What was different about this time?**

**"Ok, Anna, this thing, it isn't about you is it?" Anna shook her head. Lily sat in silence and just waited. Whatever it was, Anna would tell her if she had to. When the silence reached a minute, Anna burst out. "I heard about a fight. Well, a duel, maybe."**

**"Who's it between?" Lily asked urgently. As a prefect for Gryffindor, she felt it was her duty to know everything that was going on – so she could stop it.**

**Anna took in a deep breath. "Peter and James."**

**Lily's mouth practically dropped open. **_James…_?** "But, those two are best friends! And they're both so harmless, why would they…"**

**"I don't know what happened, I just heard about this fight and I'm really worried…" Anna and Peter had been going out for a few weeks now. Lily knew Anna really cared about him.**

**Lily stood up. "Did you hear where?"**

**"I think they're going to McGonagall's classroom to do it. No one's in there this time."**

**"Let's go."**


End file.
